This was a wall post on facebook to a close friend in the wee hours of the morning on a Saturday night:
I had the greatest moment ever last night:
I was kissing this girl from the air-force at a bar in downtown San Diego and she says, “I can’t come with you, I’ve gotta get back to the base.”
You know how you have a mental rolodex of great lines and zingers from movies/television/everywhere whose use would tickle you but they need to be set up. Well her response set off such a line that had been lying in wait for ages.
“Righhhht, kickass.” I said leaning back smiling.
I cleared my throat and said, “I don’t want to sound like a dick or nothin, but uhhh says on your chart that you’re fucked up. You talk like a fag and your shits all retarded. What I do is just like, is just like, you know…”
She raised an eyebrow at me, completely lost. I just sat there in all my glory, laughing hysterically till I was crying. Then I accidentally knocked over my drink onto her lap and left laughing so hard my head was starting to hurt around my temples. It was exceptional.
If you’ve never seen Idiocracy then this post is clearly not for you.