It’s 6:30 AM in San Diego and I was awoken to my phone vibrating on my dresser. It stopped ringing as I turned it over to see I’ve missed a call from an unfamiliar “571” number (Northern VA area code). Could this be a friend? An emergency? Parent from work? Hospital?!
A voicemail popped up a moment later.
I listened to it, “Hey Taylor this is Matt, we haven’t met but someone passed along your information to me and I’d like to talk to you about a position at our company…”
I suspected I already knew what this crap was right off the bat. It sounded like the same jack off from a company called Priamerica that called me months ago. It’s multi-level marketing scam with credit card financing.
I called back.
“Hello this is Matt.”
“Hey Matt, I just got your message- do you work for a company called PRE-American?”
“Actually it’s PRI-America” Matt retorts in an upset tone.
“Yeah you’re company is a scam, thanks buddy.” CLICK. I ended the call and rolled over to enjoy my remaining hour of sleep.
Seconds later the phone rang again, it was from the same number, and mind you it’s 6:30 AM.
“Hello, this is Taylor.” I said pleasantly
“Hey, what makes you think you can call this job a scam?!” Matt yelled into the speaker irately.
I chucked, “Matt I don’t have time to explain how Google searches work.”
Matt even more angered by my last remark started up one of the rants that swims around his head all day, usually these rants are filed away in short depths of his mind along side rants about the other inadequacies in his life like the one about “every guy experiments with boys his age, the hangover was a good movie, size doesn’t matter, etc.”
However this particular rant in its various forms happens to be something he frequently exercises and it usually pops up when educated people catch wind of the shit sandwich he’s asked them to take a bite of.
I decided to interrupt him a few seconds in, “What is this? What are you mad at me? Is this our first fight?”
Stunned by the absurdity of my questions Matt paused and probably questioned the remote chance that he may have contacted someone who was more displaced from reality than even he was.
“Listen Matt,” I said in my adult businessman voice at 6:30 AM, “I’m sure in your mind; you work for a very nice place, with nice people, and do good things. I can’t imagine you would want to work for a place that takes advantage of people, you seem like a nice guy.”
He started to try to interrupt,” I am a nice guy. Do you think this company would be in business if it wasn’t a legitimate…?”
I continued to talk over him, “But Matt, I live 3,000 miles away in San Diego, California. I’m not going to work at the office in Herndon, Virginia. You woke me up, early on a Friday, to inquire about a position I’ve already turned down twice in the past. What do you care about someone 3,000 miles away thinks about you, your job, or your company?”
Matt paused, “Well, you do understand that my job is at a legitimate place and I do real work.”
I started to laugh, “Yes Matt, I’m sure it’s very nice.”