I used to send e-mails out pretty regularly to the fraternity and this was just one of many e-mails that touched upon one of my crazy evenings and also on the fact that I was ready to move into our new fraternity house. Enjoy.
Today I wake up after some good drunken sex. Luckily, I decided to not to sleep next to her. I did this because she took up the whole bed passing out after I gave her some Kama Sutra Massaging. I was somewhat disappointed that she had decided not to stay awake for another session but it was late. So I crashed on my couch. I woke up in the morning to see her standing over me naked, offering a morning blow job. I thought wow, This day couldn’t start any better if I had planned it. After we finished up, I bid her goodbye along with blooms girl and we both reminisced about the past evenings events.
Upon starting to make my bed I first came to notice my hat was slightly damp in a few places. Perhaps the massage oil had leaked?
I picked the hat up for a quick smell to insure that this was the case. I mmediately recognized an all too familiar scent. It wasn’t beer, water, or yellow coolaid… it was urine. She had pissed in my bed and neglected to mention it to myself or her friend before leaving. This urine was no ordinary urine. The sheer amount was shocking. It had managed to form a 3 foot in diameter yellow circle in the center of my bed. It actually soaked three blankets, my comforter, and the mattress. I suppose she had straddled my favorite pillow later in the night because it too was saoked with the less than magical substance.
Now this could have been enough to ruin a day here at the house. However, upon calling her to leave a message that was too funny to recall, bloom and I hear a sudden rush of water. We both looked around bewildered and in a moment we realized our water pipe here at the house had burst…For the fourth time.
Water was spraying all over the beer pong room.
This means bloom nor I can shower, wash our sheets stained with urine, or flush the toilet. I am tired of living in a place like this. Brothers I send this e-mail in hope to show two things. One, brothers that live in the house make many sacrifices and two, this girl Kathleen is a joke. I want to move into this new house like you wouldn’t believe.
In my disappointment last night I took a picture of the joker known as Kathleen. I decided it would be funny to the picture in this email for brothers to enjoy… I am only one man, but sometimes I can only take so much.
I need to shit and will use the outside facilities today at my own house, do u know what that’s like?