Dude you slept with my grandma

One of my old friends was back in town visiting his mom and brother for Christmas, he and I were old drinking buddies. We both chased women and could pace with each other’s level of boozing pretty well; and that can be tough to do. When we decided to embark on a drinking night, we went hard. We didn’t really do the two beers and coast for a while thing. Being that it was the Night after Christmas, we knew we would be in for some heavy drinking… How much of an alcoholic statement is that?!
We set off at 8:00 PM for a $0.25 happy hour. This meant that for a quarter you can get a tall whiskey-coke. However, this price only lasted for a single solid hour. So you needed to get your fill of drinks, yet time them properly so you didn’t throw up before the night got into full swing. Still feeling somewhat rough from the previous night, we began to order drinks at a rapid pace. We managed to rack up a bar tab of $4.00 and that was after people were buying us drinks. That was the first hour and we had all night to go. The night went from hazy to an all out blur as we jumped from bar to bar within a four mile radius.
I blacked out sometime after 11:00 PM. We managed to get a ride back to my buddy’s place after the bars closed but we continued to pound beers and play beer pong well into the wee hours of the morning. The plan according to what my buddy later told me was to go to bed late and wake up early the next day and do some Frisbee golf. Something I’d never actually done, but it seemed like it would be interesting way to kill a few hours.
At some point my friend told me I could crash in his mom’s spare bedroom on the second level. I appreciated the gesture as I hadn’t planned on driving home. I vaguely remember telling him I’d talk with him in the morning and climbed the stairs to go to get some sleep.
I awoke fully clothed to my phone vibrating inside the front pocket of my jeans. As I managed to bring it to my face I started to try and get my bearings. I had no recollection of coming back to my friends place at that point.
“Taylor,” my buddy shouted through the phone. “Where are you?! I’ve searched the whole house and I’m about to go play Frisbee golf. Did you leave or what?”
I cleared my throat, “What? I think I’m at your place,  I’m upstairs, what time is…”
Then to my left I heard in an old raspy voice, “WWWhat?!?”
I turned my head I see my buddy’s grandma startled and wide eyed staring at me from mere inches away.
From the phone I heard my friend shouting in broken laughter “No way dude! Did you sleep in my grandma’s bed?”
“Hello,” I said to the old woman, looking back at her just as puzzled as she was.
More laughing came from the phone. I sat up as my friend burst into the room still laughing hysterically while holding the phone to his ear. “Dude,” he shouted almost collapsing, “you slept next to my grandma?!”
Still drunk and not sure what to make out of the situation I turned to her and said, “Well, Merry Christmas.”

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